Not me though sadly, but here’s a taster…
- Production ready 22nd September. Those LF1’s are the dogs, aren’t they?
- All good as expected ex-factory, immaculate and despatched to dealer
- Dealer receives just one clear day later – the driver had to drop a couple of other cars off on the way.
- Car arrives at dealer. It arrives in perfect order.
- Dealer advises purchaser that car is late. It isn’t, it is put in the show room. I mean, imagine the footfall that will create for a week or two?
- Purchaser is annoyed at delay and says he will call personally at dealer.
- Hasty call by dealer later in the day – who confirms it has arrived!
- Car moved from showroom for PDI and registration. It should only take a day.
- PDI takes a day and all is good. Everyone admires the car. It is the first LF1 in the local dealership.
- With just 8 miles on the odometer, and hardly any fuel in the tank the PDI is completed with a trip to the fuel station to be brimmed. It’s a job for the junior sales assistant.
- He only recently joined the garage and is excited to get behind the wheel of something so new. And so powerful. Even more so than his Corsa VXR hire purchase car.
- As a final PDI check, and the junior sales assistants first, he is keen to conduct a short test drive to ensure all is ok. The purchaser doesn’t want to be the first to find a fault after all, does he? It’s good thinking by the junior sales assistant, and he is congratulated by the dealer principal for his kind and helpful thought. He is given the keys. The dealer principal is glad he gave his son the job. This is a family business when all said and done.
- As we all know, when on a test drive it is important to test the full performance dynamics of the car. Just for extra reassurance. After all, this is what the junior sales assistant did when he bought his Corsa a couple of months ago. A car he hopes to be driving as soon as all the repairs are complete.
- The LF1 is taken to the fuel station. Boy this thing can shift. It is epic to the 3 change lights in first to third, and he wonders how 4th to 6th may feel. No time today though as he has reached the local shell garage and the car is brimmed with fuel.
- The junior sales assistant notices the crazed bodywork over the rear arch. He concluded that he must have clipped the bus when squeezing passed it and the traffic island. Not to worry, dad’s new paint shop will sort it
- Car returns to deal and damage reported. Not to worry, some matting and filler, a sand down & ‘blow in’ at the paint shop will mean you will never tell it had happened
- The paint will be refinished before collection. But only after the diesel has been drained from the tank and replaced with unleaded. It’ll only take a week or two. The young lad had obviously been distracted. It happens to everyone now and then.
- It’s mid-October now, and the paint is nicely cured. The painter inspects his work and is clearly delighted. You’ll never tell. Fortunately, he notices the rear wheel is kerbed. Buckled even. It must have been the traffic island. Bloody bus drivers!
- Those fancy gold wheels are on back order. They only do them in batches. After all you need to think about other customer orders too and Lotus is a world-wide business. All the other wheels are allocated too. Never mind, it’ll be worth the wait.
I reckon your car will be ready before the cold snap comes during the last week in November Pete. It will be epic 
I need to go out and buy that big box of tissues before next Wednesday, but not for blowing my nose into though 
