Sounds like the Daily Sport is back in business ? 
Sounds like the Daily Sport is back in business ? [/quote]
I think he was speaking personally, rather than professionally
Sadly there appears to be a queue for that 
Sounds like the Daily Sport is back in business ? [/quote]
I think he was speaking personally, rather than professionally [/quote]
Yes, but don’t tell Mrs T
Saw there were a few replies to this thread, foolishly thought there may be an insightful suggestion to my dilemma. Even more dissapointed now as at one point I thought someone was sending Pippa over to fix my car.
Yet I don’t have a working car, or Pippa Middleton.
Remind me what the point of this forum is, if it doesn’t get me a working car or into the back door of the monarchy? 
It’s your flux capacitor that,s knackered …
Obvious really
[quote=MattyB]
Remind me what the point of this forum is, if it doesn’t get me a working car or into the back door of the monarchy? [/quote]
You may need to consult Camilla for that option 
/Royal correspondent mode off.
I hope you get your car sorted though.
Apologies for thread interference.
I’ve had a few problems starting mine. On occasions it turns over and over without a hnt of firing, no petrol smell, nothing . . . even though primed.
In the past I have pushed it backwards out of the garage, tried to jump start it in reverse without success, only to find that she will then start on the key and run cleanly.
It’s a lottery and leads to even more heightened anticipation before a hoped-for drive.
thommo - do you get a spark when it’s not starting?
No don’t seem to. Only had to go to the extent of taking the plugs out to check on one occasion and there was no spark.
Just moving the car physically seems to work for some mysterious reason. Maybe it’s the inital attempt to jump start(which never seems to work due to my drive not being long or steep enough)that triggers something (crank sensor?).
It’s been sitting dormant in the garage for about three weeks now so I’m wondering what response I’ll get when I try to start her up. I’m desperate for a drive but the weather up here is sh*te at the mo.
You may need to search for the full technical reason but I’ve definitely read about the crank sensor not being aligned or mis-aligned and moving it in gear a couple of feet and then starting again will clear the issue.
Also, as mention previously the speed the starter has to turn over before firing a signal to spark is very high and even the slightest battery issue can cause it not to trigger.
A CTEK is your friend.
As Steve says 
Also sometimes for whatever reason? it can take oodles of cranking to get the recalciant beast to fire up - VHPD is afterall a thoroughbred rather than one of these far eastern upstarts
‘Start’ being the operative word in your last sentence ah Simon
Sorry Matt, couldn’t resist
Battery was sitting on the CTEK for about 24 hours and was well into “conditioning” territory before I tried to start it again.
If I was ever the type of person to genderfy (is that a word?) my cars, I’d say it was just PMT…and by doing so would also allow me to utilise all kinds of entedres about giving it a good cranking, poking around in the bay etc.
But such talk is below the level of this forum
[quote=MattyB] I’d say it was just PMT…and by doing so would also allow me to utilise all kinds of entedres about giving it a good cranking, poking around in the bay etc.
But such talk is below the level of this forum [/quote]
Back to Pippa Middleton again!
Just to put a resolution to this, PM’s are 99% sure its the immobiliser, as there is no spark.
Meta M36T?
Not sure on the model no, but its the standard Meta immobiliser…
Further to my earlier post(no, not the one about Pippa Middleton), I thought I’d give my car a run out before the Nyloc meeting tomorrow. Just as well I did.
The sun was shining, I cleared a path out of the garage. I sat in the car. Would she start? Would she buggery!
A month’s inaction after Boothy’s Anglesey track day, despite being on a CTek conditioner, had obviously sent her into a sulk.
In line with my previous practice, I tried repeatedly on the key: petrol pump primed, turning over strongly, not a cough.
So as before, pushed, eased out of garage, tried to jump in as she was rolling backwards and into gear. Nothing, just a jerk as she came to rest.
Ah, thought that will have done the trick, shifted the crank sensor . . . Nope, not this time.
There then followed a pantomime scene as I, on my ownsome, manoevered the car off the drive into the quiet cul-de-sac where we live. More fruitless turning of the key.
Right, pushed her round the corner on to next downward slope . . tried to jump in a jump star. Forgot to have ignition on. Pushed back up a neighbour’s drive. Tried rolling her off there and down slight incline. No joy.
Third time back up the neighbour’s drive, just enough forward movement to jump in slot into second(with ignition on).Not a spit.
Came to halt, turned ignition off, then on again and she fired up with a slight apologetic cough and settled into a steady and pleasing idle.
I ask you? Who’d have thought I could still love such a recalcitrant beast after all that buggering about. I only wanted to take her to the jet wash for heaven’s sake.
But what a drive to get there!
Thommo
Pleased to see that you’re not (publically anyway) blaming me for today’s escapade
Can’t believe we were chatting about this thread immediately beforehand!
Fingers crossed that we meet up tomorrow as planned at 2pm