Weight man, its everywhere!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Guys I think I have a problem. I have just finished a rather tasty Chinese. However when the friendly little 97 year old delivery guy dropped it off I bought it into the kitchen, moved the Demon Thieves catalogue out of the way and put my dinner on a plate. I then…



… Weighed my dinner!!!

What the hell is that all about!!! I think I’m loosing it!!

I will hasten to add that our chinese does serve there food in Exige-esque containers, being made out of ally, with a palstic lid!!

I didn’t eat the container though, so there was a definite weight saving there!!

I also opted to not eat the plate, which was a very un lotus like heavy duty crock jobbie!!!

I will continue with further weight saving when I get up tomorrow morning and recycle!!

Sean - maybe you need just a little break from the project!

I detect semi-obsessive behaviour!!

You maybe right!!

I am currently assessing the potential weight addition of a can of Stella. I am of the thinking that if i drink the whole can really fast, and dont burp. The contained gas from the bubbles in my stomach will actually counteract the weight of the beer!!!

So if my theroy is correct. On race day, if i drink 10 cans of coke (cus i don’t drink and drive) before going to the grid, then strap myself in really tight, i will actually make the car lighter. My over inflated belly will act like a mini hyndenburg and i will loose a few valuable KG’s!!

PLUS, if i go over the rumble strips on every corner, thus vibrating the car and in effect “shaking me up” the additional gas produced will give a further weight reduction!!!

I reckon at the end of the race, I could float over the bloody line!!!

You have to remember not to fart during the race though otherwise you’ll lose some of the effect.

Hmmmm didn’t think of that. Maybe another part of the modification should be a couple of pieces of gaffa tape to cover up any likely pressure relief valves!!!

You have to remember not to fart during the race though otherwise you’ll lose some of the effect.

Unless there is a pipe from the cockpit to the rear diffuser, to firstly aid downforce, then followed by a venturi to guide the gas to the end of the exhaust, whereupon instant ignition will create a forward thrust equivalent to strapping a 100psi turbocharger to the engine!

Or am I talking sprouts

Guys we are onto something here!!!

Maybe we could add to the effect by having beans on toast for breakfast and a few sprout sandwiches for lunch on race day!!!

LOL…

so what did dinner weigh then Sean ??

Boy are you gonna shed some tears buddy, having to add ballast to bring you up to the minimum weight!

Ian

Dinner weighed in at just over half a kg!!!

Yeah I reckon i will be adding a bit of ballast. But to be honest that doesn’t bother me too much. It is kind of a personal challange to see how much weight I can loose, plus at track days I will be able to ditch the ballast and have a better Power to Weight

Sean

You may wish to consider some of the following in your weightsaving quest (from an old thread on the BSCBBS website), all deadly serious

Posted 04 September 2001 at 13:10:14 UK time


Al, Cheshire

I want to make my car as light as possible, by removing bits mainly. But I must comply with road car sprint regs, i.e. I can’t remove the dash, important lights or windscreen(!) etc.

I’ll start you off.

Radio and speakers (4Kgs??)
Normal seat belts, since I have harnesses (2Kgs?)
Water from washer bottle (5Kgs?)

Any more…???


Al.






Posted 04 September 2001 at 13:17:56 UK time


Clive, Derby

Try putting helium in your tyres






Posted 04 September 2001 at 13:43:47 UK time


IanC, Camberley, [email protected]

On the credit side
Heater matrix
Battery - change for L/W item
Ali Petrol Tank (and only a couple of litres of petrol for each run)
And a list of L/W bits from Geary (- any news on the catalogue yet geary?)
Also Speedline mag alloys
MMC brakes (providing you don’t need to slow down in the wet
Exlax
Rear Screen - change to Poly
Steam room

Wouldn’t change the harnesses though definitely a bad idea.

On the debit side
Roll cage
Fire extinguisher

There was thread (loosing weight) which is prolly in the archives as well. You could go for lightweight panels as well but chech the regs first.

HTH

Ian






Posted 04 September 2001 at 13:49:31 UK time


Rob Clarke, Gloucestershire, United Kingdom

Magnisum wheels
MMC discs
Light weight exhaust system
Boot carpet
Heater
Carbonfibre everything inc clams

Re-mortgage house…etc :slight_smile:







Posted 04 September 2001 at 14:01:40 UK time


Liam, Letchworth/Cambridge, [email protected]

Remove passenger seat
Cut away (GRP) boot
Replace side window glass with polycarb
Remove passenger footrest
Titanium exhaust system (mmmm…)
Remove leather/cloth pads from sills
Remove mesh from above radiator
Remove shroud from around gearstick/handbrake lever
Remove door inserts
Remove footwell divider
Remove driving lamps
Remove brake disc splash guards (unsprung, too!)
Remove heater controls (as well as matrix)
Remove locking wheel nut adapter
Remove tyre-weld







Posted 04 September 2001 at 14:14:24 UK time


Dave Smith, Herts., [email protected]

Special K for breakfast?






Posted 04 September 2001 at 15:00:55 UK time


RNLI, Lose in London

Titanium Internals for the engine…50% reducition
Magnesium exhaust
Carbon fibre Tub insted of Alley
Carbon fibre Panels
Mag Wheels
straight cut sequential box (who cares if it saves weight)
Poly insted of glass
remove carbon petrol filter (part of the petrol overflow)
titanium suspension uprights…
Carbon fibre discs
single piece carbon fibre undertray…
all the silly metal grills
race seats (R500)

Would be the most expesive Elise…and lightest






Posted 04 September 2001 at 15:49:31 UK time


knobby

remove the driving seat and driver






Posted 04 September 2001 at 17:02:42 UK time


SteveB, Abingdon, Oxon, [email protected]

use Geary’s discs and bells rather than MMCs since the poor wet performance easily outweighs the 4-6kgs you’ll save with MMCs.

Don’t think the road legal regs allow polly side windows - can these be made curved anyway?

Kelvedon do lightweight clams.

SteveB






Posted 04 September 2001 at 19:11:27 UK time


d

cigar lighter ! got to be 20g
d






Posted 05 September 2001 at 01:10:00 UK time


Michael, G

Remove keyring, alarm system, inner wheel arches, antenna c/w cable, hood.






Posted 05 September 2001 at 08:24:27 UK time


EricS, Swiss

Buy a 340 R, remove the windscreen and put polycarbonate body…;-D

Eric S.






Posted 05 September 2001 at 12:28:44 UK time


jamesm

You will notice the difference -

Car

Tax Disc.
Tax Dicc holder.
Tyre Valve dust caps.
Plastic bit on the end of odometer reset button.
Wheel centre caps (big saving)
Side repeater indicators.
Inflate tyres with helium.
T-cut the layer of gel-coat off the bodywork.

Driver (Stage 1)

Haircut
Piss
Dump
Empty your sack
Blow nose
Cut finger and toe nails (loose some toes if really serious about weight loss)
Wax pubic hair
Drain 4 pints of blood

In order to be trully competitive the following driver upgrades are reccomended.

(Stage 2)

Additional weight reduction by removal of non essential items -

Kidney (1 only)
Lung (1 only)
Spleen
Teeth
Appendix
Buttock reduction (big saving)
3 fingers from right hand (check if car is RHD first!)
2 toes from each foot
Further 2 pints of blood

(Stage 3)
(Reccomended for experts only)

Certian parts of the brain can be saftley removed, although some dealers have made mistakes.

Full colostomy conversion. (deposes of those heavy intestines) This conversion also makes way for further ar*e modifications.

(Stage 4) (Full FIA Driver Spec)

Complete “Dry Sump” Conversion

Remove heart, lungs, Liver & ALL blood vesels.
Drain all remaining blood.
Fit complete Lotus Direct Driver Oxygen injection system.

Tune on Rolling road.








Posted 05 September 2001 at 20:19:14 UK time


John Catlin, Berkshire, [email protected]

By far the best weight watchers !!!








Posted 06 September 2001 at 18:03:44 UK time


Paul, Surrey

Make sure you use the toilet before driving and remove the fluff that gathers near the footwell.






Posted 06 September 2001 at 18:15:55 UK time


rob

johnson’s baby buds are good for removing that excess wax from your ears, whilst a toothpick will get the fluff from out of your belly button (why is it always purple?)

Good luck

Dinner weighed in at just over half a kg!!!

You can reduce the weight of your chinese by specifying rice noodles instead of the lumpen mass that is egg noodle.
A few prawn crackers underneath will help, as obviously these have negative weight and normally need to be tethered in some way.

HTH.

Alex.

You guys are nuts man!!!

Guys we are onto something here!!!

Maybe we could add to the effect by having beans on toast for breakfast and a few sprout sandwiches for lunch on race day!!!

Are we working towards some sort of Human NoS bottle here?

Sean

Experience tells me a Madras from a certain curry house in Blackheath would be more potent than a sprout sandwich

Sean

Experience tells me a Madras from a certain curry house in Blackheath would be more potent than a sprout sandwich

LOL, you’re not wrong matey!!!