Hahaha
Self sex = No insurance (because you’re a complete wan*&r!)
Hee, hee. . . you dirty buggers!
Sex in a kilt (or tossing the caber) - Scottish Mutual
Sex with a granny - Old Mutual
Sex with a sailor - Admiral
sex after a vasectomy - cover nought
Secret Sex - No claims
multi car pile up - gang bang
Sex with a scouser - Third party fire and theft.
Dogging sex - off road insurance (or Churchill)
Sex with a fat bint - maximum NCB
Sex with a copper - Endorsement
Sex with herpes - Public Liability
Sex on a beach - Marine Insurance
Sex in the garden - No Cover
Pedophile - Youngs Insurance
Sex with the former popstar & one hit wonder Yaz - House insurance
Sex with Delia Smith - Norwich Union
Sex with an onion - Royal Liver
No Sex in Essex - Ends…Leigh